


take this chance

by towokuwusatsuwu



Series: Pride 2018: 30 Days of S.W.O.R.D. [21]
Category: HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:06:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: Jesse is against his back a moment later, hands on his bare arms, rubbing them almost hard enough to hurt, but not on purpose. “You yelled at Pearl, alright? Maybe you didn’t realize how loud you were being, but it just kinda gave everyone the jumps. Come back inside.”“Is there something wrong with me?” Bernie asks, a little quieter.“No, Bern, there’s… There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Jesse noses the side of his neck, and his beard makes it tickle. “Pho’s not… People are scared of him, y’know? Big dude like that, strong as he is, so he just kinda closes himself off. It’s not that he hasn’t realized you’re throwing yourself at him, just he doesn’t look at anyone like that anymore.”The words have Bernie deflating within minutes, and he flicks the butt of his cigarette on the concrete, leaning back into Jesse’s chest. “Fuck. I didn’t know that.”





	take this chance

When Pho joined the Mighty Warriors and became a main staple at the Funk Jungle and in their circle, Bernie put himself out there maybe a little too much. He knows his strengths. He knows his voice is loud, knows the enthusiasm he conveys with every word is infectious, knows how smart he is even if other people have a different interpretation of him, and he knows how pretty he is. All of these charms work to his advantage, allowing him to net pretty much any man who crosses his path that he sets his sights on. Truth be told, he hardly has to try.

Maybe, this confidence has finally gotten the better of him. Bernie thought the notion of such a thing was ridiculous when Pearl first suggested it, half-slurring the words into Bernie’s ear, one hand down his pants and the other under his shirt. Being such an excellent conversationalist in precisely the wrong moment is Pearl’s best quality, after all; he’d been breathing whiskey down Bernie’s neck for the better part of half an hour and Bernie was finally sufficiently horny.

Which meant, of course, Pearl had to ruin it all in his own special way.  _ “Y’know, one of these days, you’re gonna throw it all out there with that cute smile and it ain’t gonna work anymore.” _

Bernie left him with blue balls for the smart ass attitude and spent the night in Ice’s bed instead, cozying up to him just enough, and Sarah was busy with Ryu that night anyway. Still, the thought stuck in the back of Bernie’s mind, and when he was having a peaceful quiet moment, the words came back to haunt him. The idea that he might get so used to getting what he wants, to having men trip at his feet, that eventually, they wouldn’t anymore.

Months passed, and no man turned him down when he batted his lashes at them and complained of having cold sheets and a lonely bed. He never touched regulars because the last thing he needs is someone clinging to him. A handful of important blackmail-worthy documents found their way into his possession through his extensive hacking skills, several politicians tucked firmly in his back pocket if Ice ever needs them.

Jesse coming home was supposed to be a good thing. Bringing along Pho meant that Bernie was even happier to see him than he normally would have been, and he only feels a little bad about ditching his scruffy boyfriend for the taller, handsome hunk who came in his wake. After all, Jesse has Ice to bounce back, and the two of them are attached enough at the hip he might not even realize Bernie passed him up. At least, not for a good long while.

Pho is the epitome of Bernie’s excellent taste in men. Tall, handsome, strong. Muscles through his chest and arms that are begging to be worshipped, looking so tough until he smiles and then it’s like the clouds have parted to let the sun beam down warm and sure. His fashion sense is unfortunate, perhaps, but Bernie can work with that. There’s always room for improvement.

Except that Pho doesn’t seem to want anything to do with him.

He isn’t cold, by any stretch of the imagination. He’s a little reserved compared to Jesse, perhaps, but he doesn’t push any of them away and when Bernie leans against him, or plops down in his lap (“There aren’t enough  _ seats, _ this is okay,  _ right?”  _ dragging out the “i” with the biggest puppy dog eyes he can manage), Pho never shoves him off. More than once, Pho had even let Bernie borrow one of his arms, a steadying anchor around his waist to keep him from toppling off of Pho’s lap and onto the floor when he’s too drunk to just sit still.

All of this, and there had been absolutely no progress in trying to successfully woo him.

Bernie hasn’t had to try so hard for a man in months, or more accurately, in  _ years. _ Men like him. He’s cute and unassuming, has a pretty face and a nice mouth, and he knows how to use everything he’s been given. Putting himself out there always gets him what he wants.

Until now. Until Pho.

It’s only been two hours into this evening, and Bernie is already in full pout mode, scowling down into his drink like it’s to blame for this entire affair. Across the VIP section of the Funk Jungle, Pho is sat between Jesse and Brown, listening to Ice recount the first fight with the Rudeboys, and though Bernie has been making eyes at him all night, Pho hasn’t noticed him. He’d cracked a joke earlier, and Bernie made sure to laugh extra hard at it, even leaned over to touch his arm, and Pho just shrugged like it was nothing.

“You okay, brat?” Pearl drops down next to him on the couch, touchy, his arm slinking around Bernie’s shoulders to give him a reassuring squeeze even though this lapse in confidence is totally his fault. “You’ve been sitting here like this for an hour now.”

Bernie huffs at him, downs his drink, and sets the glass down a little too hard on the table. “I’m  _ fine,  _ now do you think you can get  _ off _ of me?”

He’s upset, and a little tipsy, and maybe the volume level of his voice is set higher than it has any right to be. When Pearl leans away from him, taking his arm back, Bernie feels like an ass for yelling at him, but when he glances away, he finds the others all staring at him as well. The attention makes him uncomfortable, his cheeks burning hot as he squirms in his seat, because while he revels in attention, this is entirely the wrong kind.

“Bern?” Ice keeps his voice low, but still loud enough for Bernie to hear him over the music. “Something wrong, babe? You wanna talk about it?”

“N-no, I’m fine.” Bernie presses his knees together, then his lips, feeling crowded suddenly with all of their eyes on him, his skin crawling at the sensation. It’s all the worse when he realizes Pho is staring at him, too, his face unreadable, but he’s seeing Bernie like this, and that’s unacceptable. “I’m going outside for a smoke. Be right back!”

He half-climbs over Pearl’s lap to get away as quickly as possible, taking the stairs down two at a time even though his legs aren’t quite long enough to manage and he almost goes sprawling on his face once or twice. The crowd is easy enough to navigate through because Bernie has done this a thousand times already, and then there’s the outside, the dark sky and the cool fresh air that soothes his burning face. He fumbles for his cigarettes, hands shaking just slightly, but he manages to get one between his lips and a flame going within a minute or so.

What the  _ fuck _ is wrong with him? Pearl has always been handsy and Bernie has never minded before because while Pearl might be a little bit… Like that, he’s still a close friend and Bernie likes having someone who doesn’t seem to mind getting his hands everywhere. More than that, snapping at him like that and earning everyone’s attention made him want to die because while he likes people paying attention to him, he doesn’t like to be gawked at.

“Bernie.” Jesse’s voice cuts through the quiet and Bernie whines, twisting around so Jesse only has his back. “Okay, okay. Look, what’s going on with you? You’ve been… Weird lately.”

“No, I haven’t. I’m just tired.” It’s a lie, of course. He sleeps half the day away, usually.

“Liar. Something’s up with you. Not that I can always handle the total package, but you’re not, like, your usual… What the fuck does Ice call it, your usual uhhhh, bubbly self?” A hand lands on Bernie’s shoulder but he shrugs it off. “See, like that. You’ve crawled into my lap a thousand times when something’s been wrong but now I can’t touch you? Pearl can’t? Did something happen? Is there someone’s ass I need to beat down for you?”

Bernie huffs at the implication. “You know I can take care of myself.”

“Not like you  _ want _ to,” Jesse mutters.

“Well, I can! I just… What the fuck is your friend’s problem?” Bernie inhales too hard too fast and it burns his lungs, but he doesn’t care. The cloud of smoke he exhales quivers just a little as it leaves his lips, matching the quaver that runs through his entire frame. Voicing it out loud feels like a mistake, but it just bubbles up out of him before he can stop it. “I’ve been throwing myself at him for weeks now and he doesn’t even look twice at me!”

Jesse’s hand is back on his shoulder and Bernie smacks at it. “What are you talking about?  _ Who _ are you talk— Oh. Bern, maybe you should just let that one go.”

“Why? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?” The thought terrifies him more than he wants to admit, that there might actually be something about him that’s lacking, but if he never knows, what can he do to fix it? “God, Jesse, I’m so pathetic, but I really  _ like _ him, and—”

“You serious?” Jesse squeezes his shoulder and Bernie tries to pry his fingers off to no avail. “Look, maybe we should go back inside or something.”

“I don’t want to go inside. You all stared at me like I’m some kind of freak!” Bernie gives up on getting Jesse to let go of him, returning to his cigarette, shivering in the cool night air. Maybe he should have worn a jacket, but he’d been trying to flirt tonight, so he’d picked a cute t-shirt with a deep V that clings tight but offers no insulation.

Jesse is against his back a moment later, hands on his bare arms, rubbing them almost hard enough to hurt, but not on purpose. “You yelled at Pearl, alright? Maybe you didn’t realize how loud you were being, but it just kinda gave everyone the jumps. Come back inside.”

“Is there something wrong with me?” Bernie asks, a little quieter.

“No, Bern, there’s… There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Jesse noses the side of his neck, and his beard makes it tickle. “Pho’s not… People are scared of him, y’know? Big dude like that, strong as he is, so he just kinda closes himself off. It’s not that he hasn’t realized you’re throwing yourself at him, just he doesn’t look at anyone like that anymore.”

The words have Bernie deflating within minutes, and he flicks the butt of his cigarette on the concrete, leaning back into Jesse’s chest. “Fuck. I didn’t know that.”

“We all get along ‘cause we’re all hardasses, you know? Entire part of that friendship was that we wanted to be the baddest and the strongest. So he’s not gotta be worried about us, but you guys are different.” Jesse rests his chin on Bernie’s shoulder, and it’s nice, just this. “Especially you. Not like you can’t take care of yourself but you’re so damned delicate-looking and you play that shit up so hard because it nets you dudes, I get it, but still.”

“Makes me look even more fragile, I bet,” Bernie mutters.

Jesse hums in his ear, rocks him back and forth a little, and Bernie lets him because he needs the closeness and the contact right now. “Exactly. You get it now. I’m not saying… Okay, maybe I did tell you to let him go, but if you’re that determined, just, I dunno, be direct? Make it clear you ain’t made of glass or something. I dunno. He was too busy with Sannoh to see the rest of Mighty fighting that day so it’s not like I got real answers for you.”

Bernie nods along with Jesse’s words and then steps out of the circle of his arms, giving himself a little shake to calm down. His chest hurts a little with everything Jesse has told him, the thought that Pho’s skittish around him because so many people have been afraid of him in the past— That’s awful. That’s worse than Bernie could have imagined and maybe he feels a little stupid, a little egotistical for thinking it was him this whole time. But he’s not going to back down now; if anything, Jesse’s words have just doubled down his determination.

“I’m gonna go hit on him,” he says, and Jesse’s lips twist into a smirk that he tries to fight off of his face. “You can tell Ice later on what’s up if you want, but I’m gonna be busy tonight.”

“Big words,” Jesse muses. “All right, pretty boy. Let’s see if you can really pull it off, then.”

It isn’t lost on Bernie that the VIP area is quiet when he comes up because the others have been talking about him and don’t want him to overhear. The last thing he wants is them worrying about him now, though, so he flashes Ice a smile and a peace sign, then promptly leans over the table to peck him on the cheek. Jesse is right behind him, takes his seat back at Pho’s side, amusement glittering in his dark eyes. Clearly, he’s waiting for the show to begin.

“You good now?” Ice asks, catching Bernie by the collar of his shirt.

“Perfect.” Bernie pecks him on the lips for good measure, and he can almost feel the tension in the room melt away at the word. “Sorry for scaring you all.”

At some point in his absence, Brown has switched sides of the room, letting Pearl half-hang off of him, and Bernie would apologize except that Pearl looks perfectly content where he is now and Bernie doesn’t want to intrude on that. He can apologize tomorrow if Pearl even remembers the slight by then, but judging by the way he keeps nuzzling his face against Brown’s neck, his hand slipping beneath Brown’s tank top, he won’t.

This leaves the other spot next to Pho open, and Bernie eyes it, then walks up to the man himself and offers him a smile. “Is this seat taken, or can I have it?”

Pho shifts his legs a little closer together, pats the back of the couch. “It’s open.”

“Jesse.” Ice squeezes closer to Sarah and Bernie watches, curious, smiling a little at the way Sarah sighs and sets her glass down, folding a hand behind Ice’s neck. The fact he goes a little soft under her touch says so much. “Come sit over here. Need your shoulder to nap on.”

Even as he’s pushing himself up to join Ice, Jesse is making a face at him. “I’m not a pillow.”

“Might’ve been in another life.” The minute Jesse sits down, Ice lays his head on Jesse’s shoulder, cuddling up to him. It’s precious. “Shush. Trying to sleep.”

“Looks like we get the entire couch to ourselves,” Bernie muses.

He only has the element of surprise for so long, and he has to move fast, and in the morning he’ll make  _ sure _ he thanks Ice for the opportunity. Pho starts to shift, probably to give Bernie more of the couch, but the moment he moves, Bernie pounces.

Pho has killer reflexes but Jesse wasn’t lying when he said Pho probably thought of Bernie as delicate, because even as his hands fly up to stop Bernie, he stops  _ himself, _ and Bernie can work on that later. For now, though, he lands on top of Pho and knocks him over on the couch, twisting so he’s perched on top of Pho with the bigger man beneath him, only granting him enough space and movement so he can navigate onto his back and off of his side. Might have put his arm to sleep lying like that for too long, after all.

“Shit,” he hears Jesse whisper, and Bernie’s smile widens.

“Bernie,” Pho says, voice low and quiet, dragging Bernie’s name out just a little, “what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

Bernie is just barely keeping his balance over Pho like this, knees digging into the cushions on either side of his hips, but Pho’s so  _ wide _ that he takes up most of the couch and Bernie is struggling, just a little, to stay where he is without just sitting down on top of him. “You said the seat was free, didn’t you?”

His plan doesn’t go any further than this, and maybe his voice gets trapped in his throat just a little because Pho has landed at an interesting angle, his fur coat bunched up underneath him almost like a cheap fur rug instead, and Bernie is shorter than him so he’s never seen him from above before. He’s always thought of Pho as handsome, even sexy, but up close he’s  _ beautiful _ and Bernie wants to run his fingers over that soft tawny skin.

Pho swallows hard. “I guess I did.”

“I thought so.” Bernie sits down on him a little more firmly then, lets himself get comfortable, and sets his hands on Pho’s chest. He can feel Pho’s heartbeat beneath his fingers, surprised at how fast it is, how closely it mirrors his own. “You’re soft. Comfy to sit on.”

Ice laughs, and Bernie shoots him a look. “What, man? You’re the one poking the bear.”

“I am  _ not. _ Besides, he’s  _ not _ that scary anyway.” Bernie says the words with finality and precision, and he can hear the interesting noise that Pho makes up at him. “He’s more like… Like a teddy bear, he’s just big and cuddly. He doesn’t scare me.”

Pho shifts beneath him and Bernie pouts down at him, but Pho doesn’t make any move to knock him off. Instead, he shifts so he can sit up a little, back still leaning heavily against the arm of the couch, and sets his arms almost companionably around Bernie’s waist, his hands curled in the small of Bernie’s back. It’s nice, really, and Bernie’s heart beats just a little harder because this is the first time Pho’s eyes have softened a little up at him like this.

“You really think all that?” he asks.

Bernie nods. “I get why all the kids crawl all over you.”

He stays sitting on Pho for the rest of the night, even when his knees complain and his calves threaten to go to sleep. It’s maybe just a start, but he’s making it a good one.


End file.
